I am a person who easily forgets what I think but finds it hard to forget how I feel.
How do you mend a broken heart?
I’m getting scared of becoming close to people.
I can feel my emotions slowly fading. Is this what it means by shutting down your heart? Maybe. Or maybe it’s just my 気のせい.
Yesterday was a weird day. People kept reminding me that I was the biggest flirt. It felt like a sign from the heavens. What is this?
本当に 本当に 君が大好きだったから
He’s broken up with her. He can no longer tolerate her. Her willfulness, her stubbornness, her self-centredness. It’s not like he cannot do anything without her. He’s lived alone before her and he can do it like before. Life doesn’t change without her.
But somehow something just doesn’t feel right. Something just doesn’t feel right about this life. Why? He wonders. He has all the freedom he has now, but he doesn’t feel liberated at all. He wished that he didn’t have this feeling of lost, as though not wanting to lose to her or to lose to this situation.
He contemplates on throwing all her items in his room, throwing away all the memories he shared with her. It’s all worthless now, ain’t it? Would it make him look manly and brave? Would it make him seem like he was more attached to the relationship? He is indecisive, and the weight of the useless memories weigh down on him. But for once, he feels slightly blessed that he still has these memories.
There were several times when he wanted to just pick up the phone and call her, but everytime he picks up the phone he hesitates about what he is gonna say. Could things patch up between the 2 of them? He can’t help but think that far. As though the lingering memories are not enough for him, he worries about how she’s doing.
He’s such an idiot for loving her, and a fool for continuing to love her and wanting her back.